Losing a loved one is a painful experience and the holiday season can heighten feelings of isolation and sadness, especially in the first year. If you’ve recently lost a loved one (or are close to someone who has), it’s understandable you may not be feeling the most festive – this is why we have put together this guide to support everyone affected by loss this winter. 

 

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy and celebration, but being “in the spirit” for the holidays is harder when you’re grieving. Acknowledging your grief and allowing yourself to feel the full range of emotions that you’re feeling without putting on a brave face can be the first step in the healing process. Of course, that’s not to say you need to “move on”, but acknowledging your feelings can help you work through the most painful aspects of your grief. 

 

Communicate Your Needs

Everyone grieves differently, and talking to your loved ones about how you’re feeling can help the healing process for many people. When someone passes, everyone in their close circles will naturally be affected, and having the extra support of people who are going through similar stages of grief can foster more open communication and compassion. Similarly, if you would prefer some time alone, being open with the people around can help them understand and respect your boundaries (without accidentally overstepping the line). 

 

Take Care of Your Well-being

The grieving process can take a toll on your physical and mental well-being, especially alongside any outstanding legal or practical requirements such as the selling of your loved one’s home and/or possessions, coordinating with family and sorting wills, and other activities. During this time, it’s common for self-care to be overlooked but it’s important to make a conscious effort to prioritise your health – ensure you are eating well, getting enough rest, and engaging in positive activities that bring you happiness. (And similarly to the last point, if people around you can help, don’t be afraid to reach out to those who have offered their support.) 

 

Adapt Or Create New Holiday Traditions 

Traditions can be a powerful way to remember a loved one, and continuing to honour them through adapting your traditions can create new memories and a connection to your loved one that carries on many years after their passing. Quite commonly, people will choose to light a candle in their loved one’s memory (either at home or at their place of worship), though there are endless options such as preparing their favourite dish, creating or viewing a photo album of memories, visiting their favourite location or venue, and even planting a tree or commissioning a bench in their favourite park.  

 

Practice Spiritual Healing 

Mindfulness practices can be particularly beneficial during times of grief – taking moments to reflect on the positive aspects of life, spending quality time with your support circles, and remembering the memories you shared with your loved one and close friends and help bring a sense of joy to an otherwise painful process. Engaging in activities that bring you a sense of fulfilment and giving back to the community are also great ways to honour your loved one – this can include volunteering for an organisation they cared about or making a charitable contribution to support a cause that was close to their hearts. 

 

Connect With Professional Services 

Coping with grief on your own can be extremely challenging and while you may be surrounded by people who care about you, they may not always be able to support you in the way you need. Connecting with local professional services and seeking mental health and counselling services can help you process your emotions in a more healthy way and give you the extra support you need to develop your coping strategies. (You can speak with our Dundee and St Andrews-based teams for support in accessing local services in your area.)

 

Seek Support In Dundee’s Community

As established funeral directors in Dundee since 1910, we’ve worked with members of the community to connect them with grief support groups and mental health services that understand the challenges of dealing with a loss. Speak with our team for further advice (contact details below).

 

FAQs:

How do you celebrate Christmas after a loss?

While you may not feel up to the festive cheer at Christmas following a loss, celebratory traditions can also be adapted to honour a loved one who has passed away. Preparing their favourite food, taking a walk through their favourite park, lighting a candle, or placing a specific ornament on the Christmas tree can be a meaningful way of maintaining a connection and helping you cope with your loss. 

 

What do you say to someone the first Christmas after they’ve lost someone?

Sending a card or speaking to someone in person during the first Christmas (or other celebration) after they have suffered a loss can be difficult as everyone grieves differently and it’s hard to know whether a well-intended message will be well received. Generally speaking, ignoring or not referencing the loss at all, or going out of your way with gestures that are unnatural to your friendship with someone can create an uncomfortable atmosphere as they can be seen as performative – even if they are genuine! 

Instead, consider messages such as:

  • “Wishing you a Christmas and New Year that’s filled with love and support. I’m here for you whenever you need me.”
  • “Sending heartfelt condolences and warm thoughts your way. May the love of friends and family provide comfort during this challenging time.”
  • “In moments of grief, may you find solace in the love that surrounds you. You’re not alone, and I’m here for you.”
  • “As the holidays approach, may you find moments of peace and comfort in the love that surrounds you. Wishing you strength during this difficult time, and I’m here for you.”
  • “May the holiday lights bring a peaceful glow and warmth during this difficult time. I’m here, offering my support and condolences.”

 

Speak to our team at your nearest James Ashton & Son branch:

 

1, 1a Cardean Street, Dundee, Angus, DD4 6PS

188 High Street, Lochee, Dundee, Angus, DD2 3DN

132 – 136 Hilltown, Dundee, Angus, DD3 7BJ

56 Largo Road, St Andrews, Fife, KY16 8RP (Macgregors)

Planning a funeral and getting grief support can be a daunting task, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. Your dedicated James Ashton & Son Funeral Director will be there to help you along every step of the way.