Attending a funeral is a solemn occasion that requires respectful and appropriate attire, which may be daunting if you’ve never attended a funeral before, or you’re unfamiliar with customs and norms in the area where you are attending the funeral, or if you simply do not feel you have suitable clothes for the occasion. Within this guide, we’ve put together some universal tips to help you make your choice, but please use your judgment and respect the wishes of the family when deciding what to wear to a funeral. (See also our article on what to bring to a funeral as a guest or family member.)
While black remains the traditional colour of mourning across many cultures, it’s important to remember that local customs and the deceased’s wishes can deviate from these traditions so it’s important to ensure you adhere to the dress code. Usually, the dress code will be included in the funeral notice or obituary, however, if there is any ambiguity or no specific dress code has been implied, you can fall back on the traditional options as per the guidelines below!
Choose Appropriate Colours
When selecting your outfit, it is custom to opt for more sombre colours as a sign of respect – dark colours, such as black, navy blue, dark green, and dark grey, are universally accepted as appropriate for funerals, with black and navy being the most common. With that in mind, it’s best to avoid bright and flashy colours as they can be seen as distracting and disrespectful (diverting attention away from the occasion and onto the wearer).
Consider the Weather
Be sure to take the weather into account when choosing your attire – being based in Dundee and St Andrews ourselves, we often recommend preparing for colder conditions and being mindful that it may be windy and sometimes rain unexpectedly. For this reason, having layers to your clothing such as a jacket and shawl means you can easily adjust to changing temperatures (especially if you are likely to go from indoor to outdoor climates) and wearing closed shoes will protect your feet and add warmth.
Opt for Modest and Traditional Clothing
It’s understandable that for many people comfort will be the priority during a difficult time, however, it’s also important to be mindful of expectations the family or other guests may have to avoid causing offence. Traditional clothing options include pant suits, dresses, or blouses and skirts (dark tights are optional), however, in Scotland it’s also common for guests to wear kilts or trews (tartan trousers) with a jacket. The general rule of thumb for clothing is to ensure you cover your shoulders and knees, and avoid anything too tight, short, or low-cut as this can be seen as disrespectful, especially in some places of worship where the funeral service may be taking place. Though modesty doesn’t have to mean sacrificing individuality, it’s all about striking a balance through fabrics and cuts over colour and length. Lastly, it’s also important to ensure your clothing is clean, freshly ironed, and overall in good condition as that shows respect for the occasion.
Generally speaking, you should also avoid clothing with very visible logos or brand names, as well as fabrics that might make noise (or have noisy decorations that clink or chime). These can all be considered distracting and take away from the solemnity of the event.
Accessories and Footwear
When it comes to accessorising, we recommend keeping jewellery, watches, handbags, and footwear simple and understated. Consider a pair of classic black shoes (flat or low-medium heeled) and a watch and/or bracelet. Try to avoid wearing excessive jewellery or anything that may jingle or make noise to avoid drawing unwanted attention. For handbags, purses, or other types of bags or backpacks, consider smaller items and only take a larger bag if absolutely necessary to avoid taking up others’ personal space with the bag (being mindful that there may not be anywhere to store it during the service or post-service).
We’d also recommend avoiding strong perfumes or colognes that might be overpowering as you’ll likely be sitting near other guests and this can become overwhelming or irritating – instead, opt for lighter fragrances and scents.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can you wear a kilt to a funeral?
In Scotland, it’s common for men to wear kilts or trews to a funeral to honour their heritage, especially if the person who has passed is also Scottish, though this is by no means mandatory.
What can you wear to a funeral if you’re pregnant?
It can be trickier to find dark-coloured maternity wear that is comfortable and loose-fitting yet still formal. A great option for many women can be a dark maxi dress or dresses with an empire silhouette (tighter at the ribcage rather than the waistline and flowy skirt).
Note: This guide is intended to provide general advice and should not be taken as a substitute for your own judgment. Always consider the specific circumstances of the funeral and the family’s wishes when choosing what to wear at a funeral.
Speak to our team at your nearest James Ashton & Son branch:
1, 1a Cardean Street, Dundee, Angus, DD4 6PS
188 High Street, Lochee, Dundee, Angus, DD2 3DN
132 – 136 Hilltown, Dundee, Angus, DD3 7BJ
56 Largo Road, St Andrews, Fife, KY16 8RP (Macgregors)
Planning a funeral can be a daunting task, but it is important to remember that you are not alone and we’re here to answer all your questions. Your dedicated James Ashton & Son Funeral Director will be there to help you along every step of the way.