What to write on a funeral flower card

You’ve ordered funeral flowers, and now the florist is asking what you’d like on the card. The card might be small, but the words can feel heavy or even impossible.

When it comes to what you should write on a funeral card, there’s no wrong answer. But we can tell you that families value a short, sincere message. And they might not remember the exact words on each card, but they often do remember who took the time to send something.

In this article, we’ll cover everything you need to know about writing a flower card for a funeral, including some simple guidance on what to write, how to sign it, and example messages you can use or adapt.

Who reads the funeral card?

On the day of the funeral, flowers are usually displayed at the service and then taken to the graveside or crematorium. The cards travel with the flowers, and the family will often collect them afterwards to read when things are quieter. Some families keep every card.

You can address the card to whoever feels right. And this will depend on your relationship to the person who has died. Some people address the person who has died directly (for example, “Rest well, Dad”), while others write to the family (“Thinking of you all”). Both are perfectly acceptable. Remember, though, that other mourners may see your card too, so keep anything private for a separate letter or conversation.

What to write on the funeral card

Keep your message short

A florist’s card has space for two or three lines at most. But a short message is easier to write and often says more than a long one. 

If you’re not sure where to start, try this simple pattern:

• a greeting or name
• one line about how you feel or what you remember
• and then your name

For example, “Mary, you’ll be so missed. With love from Jean.”

If you find you have more to say, we suggest sending a sympathy card to the family’s home as well. That gives you space to share a memory or offer help in a way a flower card can’t.

Using part of a poem, hymn, or scripture

Sometimes another person’s words say it better than we can. A single line from a favourite poem, hymn, or Bible verse can work well on a flower card, particularly if it meant something to the person who has died.

Keep it to a line or two so it fits, and then add your name underneath. If you’re looking for inspiration, our collections of funeral poems for a mother and funeral poems for a father include short verses that suit a card well.

Messages that feel personal

The cards that families treasure the most tend to sound genuinely like they’re from the sender. A nickname, a phrase they always used, or a nod to something you shared can mean a great deal. For example, “Save me a seat at the bowling club, Joan” tells the family far more about your friendship than a formal message ever could.

Using humour

Humour can have its place too, if it’s gentle and you know the family would welcome it. If you’re unsure if humour would be well received, a helpful test is to ask yourself whether you’d be comfortable saying the words to the family in person. If the answer’s yes, then it’s probably okay.

How to sign the card

When signing the card, use the name the family knows you by. If they call you “Uncle James”, write that rather than your full name. The aim is for them to recognise straight away who the flowers are from.

When in doubt, add a surname. That’s better than leaving someone wondering who sent the flowers.

If you’re sending flowers as a couple or a household, you could write “From John and Anne” or “From all the Duncans”. 

For a group of colleagues, include the name of the workplace or team, since the family may not know everyone’s name.

What to avoid when writing a funeral card

Most people worry about saying the wrong thing, but only a few things are worth to avoid. We recommend avoiding phrases that can come across as dismissive, such as “everything happens for a reason”. Be careful with religious wording unless you know it reflects the family’s beliefs. Never mention how the person died, however well-meant.

Avoid long messages too, simply because the florist may not be able to fit them on the card.

Practical points

Here are some practical tips that may be helpful when deciding what to write on a funeral flower card:

• Check the funeral notice first: some families ask for “family flowers only” with donations to a charity instead
• When ordering, give the florist the deceased’s full name, the date and time of the service and the funeral director’s details
• Flowers can usually be delivered to the funeral home ahead of the service

Get in touch for support

Whatever you decide to write, try not to worry too much. A few honest words, signed with your name, will mean more to the family than you might think. It shows them that the person they’ve lost was loved, and that they aren’t alone.

If you have any questions about funeral flowers or arrangements, our team in Dundee is always here to talk:

• Call us: speak directly with a member of our experienced team on 01382 452110
• Visit us: you are welcome to speak with us in person at one of our local branches
• Email us: enquiries@jamesashton.co.uk
• Contact page: full details for all offices are available on our contact page
• Facebook: follow or message us on Facebook for updates, information, or to get in touch in a way that feels comfortable for you