Answering Your 24 Most Common Funeral Questions (Dundee & Tayside)

It is an unfortunate reality that each of us will inevitably encounter the loss of someone dear during our lifetime, and you may even be faced with the responsibility of helping to organise a funeral. Here at James Ashton & Son, we’ve been caring for families across Dundee and Tayside (and as far as St Andrews in Fife) since 1910 and we’re proud to be the largest independent Funeral Directors in the region. As such, we understand the emotional challenges that come with funeral planning which is why we’re here 24/7 to support you through this time of grief and help you organise a fitting final send-off for your loved one. 

As our team of Funeral Directors are involved with each and every step of the funeral planning process, we offer confidential advice across all areas of planning and we treat each question with respect and will never judge someone for asking about an intimate part of the process they are unclear about. There are no “embarrassing” or “awkward” questions and in fact, it’s unlikely you’ll be the first person to ask!

With this in mind, here are 24 of the most common questions we get asked regarding funeral planning and some points to consider in response (though please note that we tailor every service to the individual, so while we’ve provided some information below, further details will depend on your needs and requirements). Contact our team to find out more.

1. How much does a funeral cost in Dundee?

The cost of a funeral in Dundee will vary depending on the type of funeral and the accompanying services. We offer affordable packages starting from £2360 which includes bringing your loved one into our care prior to the service, provision of a standard flat-lid coffin for the funeral, provision of a modest hearse for transportation, and our standard professional fees. This is much lower than the £4,383 average cost for the UK. 

2. What are the different types of funerals available?

There are many different types of funerals we’ve organised, including:

• Traditional funeral: This is the most common type of funeral and includes a wake, a funeral service, and a burial or cremation.
• Direct cremation: This is a simple and affordable option that does not include a wake or funeral service and will take place at the crematorium. 
• Green funeral: This is a funeral that is environmentally friendly and may include elements such as a biodegradable coffin and a tree-planting ceremony.
• Celebration of life: This is a more informal type of funeral that focuses on celebrating the life of the deceased and is a common alternative to a religious funeral.
• Religious funeral: This is a funeral that is conducted according to the beliefs of the deceased’s religion.

Learn more about each in our dedicated article on the different types of funerals. 

3. What are the legal requirements for registering deaths in Dundee?

Although emotionally draining, there are a few legal requirements for registering a death ahead of holding a funeral in Dundee (and elsewhere in Scotland). Here is a general guide:

• When someone passes away, their death must be registered with the Registrar of Births, Deaths, and Marriages within 8 calendar days except in special circumstances. As of the time of writing, modern medical certificates issued at the time of death tend to get emailed to the Registrars by the hospital doctor, police mortuary, or GP, but this may not always be possible. For further assistance with registering a death, please contact our Funeral Directors who will be able to provide detailed instructions on how to do so in your loved one’s local authority – please note there may be some differences between Scotland and elsewhere in the UK. 
• To register a death and obtain a death certificate, you will be required to provide the medical certificate stating the cause of death, your loved one’s birth certificate, and a marriage certificate (if applicable). The original death certificate will then be retained by the Registrar. The Registrar will automatically issue you with an Abbreviated Extract of the Death Certificate. 
• The Registrar will also issue you with a Certificate of Registration of Death (white Form 14) that your Funeral Director will require as soon as possible (the forms can also be emailed by the Registrars to the Funeral Directors, but you will need to inform them of who to contact in this instance). 
• The Registrar will additionally issue you with a further form which requires your completion – this needs to be submitted to The Department of Works and Pensions (DWP).
• You can request Full Extracts of the Death Certificate from the Registrar for the appropriate payment per copy should they be required by banks, insurance companies, building societies, pension funds etc. as these will likely be required to release the relevant funds. Please speak to our team for more details and further guidance. 

4. What are the different options for burial and cremation in Dundee?

The most common options for burials and cremations in Dundee are:

• Standard burial: This is the most traditional method of commemorating someone who has passed and involves burying a coffin in a cemetery or a graveyard (a burial ground that is on Church land).
• Standard cremation: This is the process of burning the body and then scattering the ashes or retaining the ashes in an urn.
• Columbarium: This is a structure (usually indoors) that houses cremated remains in urns.
• Sea burial: For a sea burial, the deceased’s body or ashes will be taken out into the water by boat and laid to rest. Please note a specialised coffin is required for sea burials to ensure the coffin sinks.

5. What are the different types of funeral flowers available in Dundee?

There are many different types of funeral flowers you can choose from and we work with local Dundee florists to deliver fresh flowers for the day, including (but not limited to):

• Chrysanthemums
• Lilies
• Roses
• Tulips
• Irises

View our floral brochure here (please note the brochure is in PDF format).

6. How do I write a eulogy for a funeral?

A eulogy is a speech that is given in tribute to the deceased and is often read out during the funeral service. When writing a eulogy, you may wish to consider including some of the following:

• The personality of the deceased and quote or personal story that reflects their attitudes to life
• The deceased’s life achievements and hobbies 
• The deceased’s relationships with others such as family and friends 
• The deceased’s impact on the community 

7. What are the key planning stages of a funeral? 

Planning a funeral for a loved one can be a daunting and overwhelming task, however, our dedicated team of Funeral Directors can help with the following:

• Deciding on the type of funeral
• Choosing the location of the funeral, e.g. at a cemetery, a church, or another location
• Choosing the date and time of the funeral
• Choosing flowers, music, headstones, and more as applicable – these are optional final touches but common for many funerals  
• Writing a eulogy
• Sending out invitations for the funeral to your close friends and family and making them aware of when and where the funeral will take place so they can pay their respects 

8. What are the etiquette guidelines for funerals?

There are a few etiquette guidelines that should be followed when attending a funeral, including:

• Arriving on time: This is a sign of respect for the deceased and their family
• Being quiet and respectful: People will grieve differently, so ensuring you give them the physical space and peace and quiet to do so is a sign of respect
• Switching off your mobile phone: Ensure you are not making noise with your phone or receiving calls/notifications during the funeral as not to distract from the proceedings 

9. Can I bring my pet to the funeral?

While some funeral venues may allow pets to attend the funeral, it’s important to check with each location and your Funeral Director will be able to check this on your behalf. If you are a guest at a funeral and want to bring a pet, it’s important to be mindful of others’ allergies and seek consent when sending your RSVP. You may also be required to ensure your pet is properly restrained. 

10. What should I wear to a funeral?

It is generally considered appropriate to wear dark, modest clothing with minimal patterns to a funeral, with black being the most common choice. In many instances, it’s also preferred that clothing is more formal and similar to work attire, e.g. pant suits or modest dresses/skirts at or below the knee. However, the specific dress code may vary depending on the type of funeral and the wishes of the deceased’s family. 

11. What should I say to the grieving family?

There is no one set thing you should say to the grieving family – simply expressing your condolences and offering your support is often enough. You can say “I’m sorry for your loss,” “my condolences, how are you holding up?,” and similar phrases can show you care without asking too many questions of the grieving family or requiring long responses. It’s also important to be mindful of what to avoid saying as it may cause distress or offence – phrases such as “stay strong,” “everything happens for a reason,” and “thoughts and prayers” may carry a negative connotation. 

12. How long does a funeral usually last?

A traditional service may last anywhere from 15 minutes to around an hour for religious funerals, however, this is just an average and some may be longer or shorter than this depending on the wishes of the close friends and family of the deceased. Cremations will tend to be very short services whereas burials will tend to be longer and include transportation to the final resting place. A funeral including a wake, service, and reception may even last most of the day to allow appropriate time for everyone in attendance to pay their respects.

13. What happens after the funeral service?

Following the service, the deceased’s body will usually either be buried or cremated as per the agreed-upon arrangements. The family and friends of the deceased may then gather for a reception or luncheon which is usually held at a restaurant or hotel. It is not a requirement to attend the reception if you attended the funeral, but it is polite to inform the hosts if you will not be attending. 

14. What are the benefits of a green funeral?

A green funeral is a funeral that is considered environmentally friendly and may include elements such as a biodegradable coffin instead of a traditional coffin alongside a tree-planting ceremony instead of placing a headstone. The benefits of green funerals include reduced costs, a smaller carbon footprint compared to traditional funerals, and a way to better reflect the lives of more eco-conscious individuals. 

15. What are the benefits of a celebration of life?

A celebration of life is a more relaxed type of funeral that focuses on the achievements and milestones of the deceased and can be a more personal and meaningful way to say goodbye in place of a religious ceremony. Celebrations of life also usually focus on attendees reminiscing about past events with their loved ones rather than mourning their loss. 

16. What are the benefits of a religious funeral?

A religious funeral is a funeral that is conducted according to the beliefs of the deceased’s religion and may follow specific traditions or a set timeline for the day.  

17. What are the benefits of choosing a local funeral director?

Choosing a Funeral Director who is local to the area where your loved one wanted to have their funeral will ensure they are familiar with the local laws and regulations, as well as being able to provide recommendations for local businesses that can provide services such as catering and flowers – ultimately making the organisational process easier ahead of the funeral.

18. What are the benefits of pre-planning a funeral?

Pre-planning a funeral can help to ensure that the funeral is conducted according to the wishes of the deceased as well as saving time and money. Our pre-planning services additionally come with a pre-payment plan to minimise the financial burden of a funeral.

19. What are the different ways to pay for a funeral?

There are a few different ways to pay for a funeral, including:

• Using your own money and savings: this is the most common option for many people
• Using life insurance: if the deceased had life insurance, the proceeds from the policy can be used to pay for the funeral
• Using government assistance: the government may provide financial assistance to help pay for a funeral for low-income families. You can check your eligibility by speaking to our Funeral Directors or going to https://www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment. 

20. What are the benefits of donating to charity in lieu of flowers?

Donating to a charity in lieu of flowers can be a wonderful way to honour the memory of the deceased, show support for the causes they cared about, and give back to the community. It can also be a more personal and meaningful gesture than sending flowers and have a more lasting impact. 

21. What are the different ways to remember the deceased after the funeral?

There is no one way to commemorate someone who has passed, but here are some of the common options outside alongside or instead of having a gravestone or urn (especially if their ashes have been scattered):

• Planting a tree: this is a way to honour the memory of the deceased and to create a lasting and eco-friendly reminder of them
• Donating to charity: this is a way to give back to the community in the name of the deceased and support the causes they cared about
• Keeping a memory box: this is a way to collect mementoes of the deceased to remember them by
• Placing a memorial bench: this can be in a place they visited often or somewhere of significance 

22. What is the difference between a funeral and a memorial service?

A funeral is a ceremony that is held to honour the deceased and to say goodbye, whereas a memorial service is a ceremony that is held to remember the deceased and to celebrate their life.

23. What are the different types of coffins available?

There are many different types of coffins you can choose from including:

• Burial coffins: these are the most common type of coffin. They are made from wood and can be decorated in a variety of ways before being buried at the end of the service
• Cremation coffins: these are used for cremations and will often have fewer decorations 
• Wicker & biodegradable coffins: these are coffins that are made from materials that will decompose naturally and are often used for green funerals
• Urns: these are used for storing the ashes following cremation 

24. What are the different ways to cope with grief after the funeral?

Greif can be expressed in many different ways and not everyone will process the passing of a loved one in the same way. Your Funeral Director may be able to recommend some coping strategies, including:

• Talking to a therapist: a qualified therapist can help you process your grief and develop healthy coping mechanisms to support your mental health
• Joining a support group: a support group can provide you with emotional support from people who have been through similar experiences, as well as ensure you are not alone in your grief 
• Taking care of yourself: it is important to take care of yourself physically and emotionally during this time and practising positive self-care can include different things such as taking time off work, spending quality time with close friends and family, eating healthy, going out in nature and enjoying regular exercise. 
• Allowing yourself to grieve: ultimately, it’s important to allow yourself to feel your grief and to express it in a healthy way.

Speak to our team at your nearest James Ashton & Son branch:

1, 1a Cardean Street, Dundee, Angus, DD4 6PS

188 High Street, Lochee, Dundee, Angus, DD2 3DN

132 – 136 Hilltown, Dundee, Angus, DD3 7BJ

56 Largo Road, St Andrews, Fife, KY16 8RP (Macgregors)

Planning a funeral can be a daunting task, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. Your dedicated James Ashton & Son Funeral Director will be there to help you along every step of the way! They will work with you to create a funeral that is personal and meaningful, and they will be there to offer support to you and your family during this difficult time.