How To Write A Christmas Card For Someone Coping With Loss

The holiday season is a time for joy and celebration with friends and family, but for those grieving a loss it can be an emotional and isolating time. Whether it’s been less than a year or even several years, grief is a process that expresses itself differently in different people so writing a Christmas card to someone going through a loss can be difficult: both for the writer when expressing their empathy in a meaningful way, and the recipient if they’re not feeling up to the festive cheer. 

Below, we’ve included some examples of wording you may like to use or adapt when sending out Christmas cards this year alongside some general guidance for crafting your own messages.

Why writing a Christmas card matters  

Grief can be isolating, especially for people who are already very private or perhaps have distanced themselves from social interactions following a loss. As Christmas and New Year are times traditionally associated with family and togetherness, a simple card can provide a brief connection and let the person know that they are in your thoughts. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, a short heartfelt note can make a significant impact on the recipient and provide moral support.   

Tips for writing a thoughtful Christmas card message

Here are some general tips for crafting a message that shows empathy and understanding (even better when hand-written instead of using printed messages!). 

Acknowledge the situation and their loss

While it’s easier to avoid talking about loss, there can be a lot of comfort in expressing the difficult emotions that come with grief. Acknowledging that someone may be missing their loved one this holiday season can help validate their feelings and keep memories alive. Showing that you are also thinking of the person who has passed on additionally shows care, especially if they were a close friend or relative. 

Be compassionate and genuine  

There can be a lot of pressure to write something unique and profound, but ultimately, your sincerity is what matters most. A simple message can come across as more natural than a lengthy paragraph when it’s written in your tone of voice and matches the way you speak or usually express yourself. This helps add a personal touch to the message, making it appear more heartfelt and genuine. 

Offer your support and presence 

Depending on the person’s stage of grief or method of coping, support can come in a variety of forms – whether it’s helping with household tasks, keeping someone company, or going for a walk. Letting the person know you’re there for them as someone to talk to or offering to make plans and partake in an activity can give them something to look forward to. With this in mind, it’s also best to avoid generic offers such as “I’m here for anything you need” as while a common signoff, this can feel vague and/or put pressure on the recipient to initiate the interaction which they may not feel up to. 

Keep the message tone gentle  

Lastly, relating to the overall tone of the message as well as the design of the card, it may be best to opt for something softer or gentler. While Christmas cards can tend to be very cheerful and “loud” through colours or designs, it can sometimes be more appropriate to choose a softer, more traditional card for someone who is grieving to better match the emotions they might be feeling. Of course, this will vary from person to person and some may prefer the uplifting messaging of more fun cards, but it’s something to consider if you’re unsure!

Example messages for Christmas cards  

Consider some of the following wording or approaches to your festive message:

How to acknowledge loss in a Christmas card  

• “I know this year has been especially hard for you without [Michelle]. As the holidays approach, I hope you find moments of comfort and know you are deeply cared for. Wishing you strength and love this Christmas.”
• “I know this holiday season may feel different without [John] so I want you to know I’m thinking of you. Sending you love and support during this time.”

How to offer comfort and support in a Christmas card  

• “I hope this holiday season brings you some much-needed rest and comfort. You’ve been through so much, and you deserve all the love and support in the world. It would be great to see you again for [a coffee] soon.
• “The holidays can be a lot to navigate, but I hope you know you’re surrounded by people who care about you deeply. I’m always here to support you, and I believe in your strength to get through anything that comes your way. I’m here should you need an extra helping hand with [the memorial arrangements] or even just to talk on the phone.” 

Keeping someone’s memory alive in a message 

• “This Christmas, I find myself thinking of [Paige] and all the joy [she] brought to those around [her]. I hope the season brings you comfort as you hold onto the beautiful memories you shared. If you’d ever like to reminisce, I’m here to share and remember with you.”
• “This holiday season I still feel [Jason]’s presence in the small moments like [the smell of the cinnamon cakes he used to make, his favourite aftershave, and the handmade ornaments we still put up on the tree]. May [his] memory bring you comfort and joy, even amidst the sorrow.”

Messages for someone who may be struggling during the holidays  

• “I know the holidays can bring a mix of emotions – please don’t worry about taking all the time you need and please know we are only a message away – even if you just need company to take [Buddy] out for a walk!”
• “This holiday season I hope you can find moments of comfort and peace, even if it’s not the easiest time. Please know you’re in my thoughts and [Danielle] and I are sending hugs, love, and support. We look forward to seeing you soon!” 

Short and simple messages for a Christmas card

• “Thinking of you and sending love this Christmas.”  
• “Keeping [Hannah] in my heart and sending you love this Christmas.”
• “You’re in my thoughts this holiday season.”  
• “Wishing you moments of comfort and peace. I’m here for you.”  
• “Wishing you peace and strength during this holiday season.”

Including a shared memory in a Christmas card message

• “As Christmas approaches, I can’t help but be reminded of last year’s festivities with [Kristen] and [our beautiful trip to the Highlands]. Thank you for the wonderful time and may these memories bring you moments of joy knowing how much [she] meant to all of us. 
• “This Christmas, I’m keeping the [festive walk] tradition going for the second year in a row – same place and time if you feel up to joining me! Hope you’re taking some well-deserved time off and getting some time to yourself to relax and unwind.”

How to sign off your message

Consider the following message sign-offs alongside more traditional options: 

• “With love”
• “Warm wishes”
• “Sending lots of hugs”
• “Thinking of you”
• “We’re here for you”

Speak to our team at your nearest James Ashton & Son branch in Dundee and St Andrews:

1, 1a Cardean Street, Dundee, Angus, DD4 6PS

188 High Street, Lochee, Dundee, Angus, DD2 3DN

132 – 136 Hilltown, Dundee, Angus, DD3 7BJ

56 Largo Road, St Andrews, Fife, KY16 8RP (Macgregors)

Planning a funeral can be a daunting task, but it is important to remember that you are not alone. Your dedicated James Ashton & Son Funeral Director will be there to help you along every step of the way! They will work with you to create a funeral and lasting tribute that is personal and meaningful, and they will be there to offer support to you and your family during this difficult time.